Who knows!?

So after the debacle of my Friday and half of my Saturday dealing with the Cornflake I woke up on Sunday morning and decided I would set-up a call to ensure a Sunday date. (Actually, I talked to this guy on Saturday and we decided to hook up on Sunday but I was basically supposed to call him to confirm since I had cancelled on him 6 times in the last month and hadn’t seen him since 2004.)

I guess I should tell the background story first.

Well I met this man back in 2001. I was 19 and he was (counting on fingers) 22. I was back home from Howard for summer break. I met him while out at a casino. We talked. Talked. Eventually we went out on a few dates and then we were inseparable for the entire summer. I was basically at his house everyday. I would wake up and go to my summer job at Wet n’ Wild, he would go to his job on Base. Did I mention he was in the military (melts……..)?

Anyway, it was summer love; a summer fling. At the end of the summer I returned to Howard. He would call me often but I mean it was Howard, he came to D.C. to visit (he was originally from D.C) and I didn’t take the time to see him. By the time he came there I already had a boyfriend at Howard and I basically had moved on. Anyway.. fast forward to 2004. He gets out of the military (long story) and comes back to D.C. after a 2 year tour in Afghanistan. I met up with him but after 3 years apart he just seemed different. It might have been the time he served abroad, distance or time but I just wasn’t interested. Shortly after we reunited I started a relationship with a new dude that would last about 3 4 years. After that ended in 07 I thought about him but never took the effort to find him. This year no clue when I searched his name on Facebook and LOW AND BEHOLD I found him! We have been talking on FB for months, he then signed up for gmail so we could gchat..

(what he’s been doing for the last few years is another story for another day.. or maybe I should tell it and make this two parts..hmm)

Anyway, I’ll tell that tomorrow.

So we meet up on Sunday. He lives in Bmore now so he came down to me in my neck of the woods in Maryland. We sat and had a drink or 4 and ate dinner. We talked and talked and talked. It was sooo easy to talk to him that I kept asking myself why I took so long to reconnect with him. He talked about how he had missed me and felt I had been dissing him for years, etc. We talked about old times. That summer had a lot of firsts wrapped around it and especially him.

1. first time I was ever handcuffed
2. first time ever being in a waterbed ( I asked him if he still has waterbed luckily the answer was, no)

Anyway, after drinks and dinner we went back to my place and talked some more. One thing led to another and all of a sudden we were 19 and 22 again. It was a great way to end a WEIRD WEEKEND.

More on him tomorrow; I think his name will be lolliking.. mandingo.. no.. um SF for Summer Fling.

xoxo,

Jolie

Some of you who read follow me on twitter and you probably read my tweets from Friday night to late Saturday afternoon. You probably read my pleas for someone to save me. Save me from being stuck with this man who we will call Cornflake. We will call him Cornflake because that is what the majority of my friends called him last year when they met him.  Apparently at the house party he attended with me in NY (where he lives) a JayZ song came on and he didnt recognize it. THE ROOM of people did not let him live it down. After this weekend I’ve come to the conclusion that he is a dork. Ok, honestly I’ve known he was a dork for the 4 yrs I’ve known him but sometimes for some reason I think people will be different the next time I see them. Well he was different.

He was different in the fact that this time he tried to DO ME! Let me back up. Cornflake and I are friends. We’ve always been friends for the past 4 yrs. We shared a kiss for the first time last year. He kisses like a turtle though (he never really sticks his tongue out just kinda rests it at his lips..YUCK!) Anywho, he hit me up 2 wks ago and asked if he could come visit. His parents live here but everytime he comes down he is so caught up with them I never see him. SO since my plans fell through to go to Houston this past weekend I agreed that he could come down. He arrived around 10:30 on Friday. I had been out drinking with a friend and made it home in time to do a quick cleaning of the house and throw my clothes in my guest room. I stay up until 11pm and then head to bed. I leave him in the living room. He comes to my room to sleep around 1am. We sleep. Well he sleeps. He starts to snore like a BEAR and I leave the room shut the door and sleep on my couch. The bed in my guestroom was full of clothes. I can still hear him snore through the door. ughh! Anyway… (this is getting long). Flashforward to after breakfast. I’m laying on the couch so is he..he keeps turning the channel surfing between and Einstein documentary and a Nirvana concert (did I mention this man is black). I fall asleep. Eventually, I wake up .. he comes close says and asks for a hug.. then he says, “your neck smells good.. you wanna have sex?” I reply, “now that you’ve asked actually, NO!”

UGHHH so awkward. HE then asks for a kiss. I decline and say I havent brushed my teeth. He says he doesnt care. I say I do. HE attempts to lay on top of me. I attempt to push him off. THIS is when I make my great escape. I get up and take a shower. I start gchatting my friends asking for a way out. I shower, come out and say “I have bad news. MY mom just flew in from London and I need to pick her up and she is going to stay here, sorry.” He says ok picks up his stuff and says he is going to go to his parents. I escape and breathe a sigh of relief.

I knew.. probably that this shat would happen in the back of my mind YET I brought all of this on myself. It makes for a good laugh now but at the time I was MISERABLE .. ughh

Have you ever said yes to something and then immediately regretted it?

I bring these things on myself .. i know i know

Jolie

so I’m up for suggestions..

so SUGGEST in the comments or at blackfemmefatale@gmail.com

thanks!

Sometimes you have to watch the company you keep. You watch the company you keep not only because they can get you in trouble BUT also because they are a reflection of you.
You may bring them around your friends, family and co-workers and think well I’m just introducing but what you are really doing sometimes  is giving the “ok” to those people to move forward without careful evaluation into be-friending them too.
You see the knowledge they have of you as a person and the company you keep automatically makes that person “cool” or “ok, to be around”
The problem with this is, “what if you yourself hasn’t gone through a careful analysis of the person,” “what if there are several character flaws you see in the person but hasn’t boiled over to un-friending” well what could happen is that although you are done with that friend, your friends are still kicking it strong with them or pissed that you ever brought them around.
You also don’t want people looking at you strange like “how could you ever be friends with a person like this?”
All of a sudden people are side-eying you giving you the “WHO YOU!?”
The company you keep is a reflection of who you are as a person. If you are a giver.. keep givers around you. If you are considerate, keep considerate people around you. If you love the Lord.. keep those who love the Lord around you as well. Friendships help build your character in a different way than your parents helped you build it or  how you cultivate your own identity and character . Don’t let the negative effect who you are and the perception that those around you have about you whether it be because of the company you keep or your actions… You don’t want to look in the mirror one day and say “WHO YOU!?”

Your probably like ..”WHAT THE HELL IS JOLIE TALKING ABOUT!?”
OK .. let me put it simply…
When it comes to reputation, perception is reality in the minds of most. Therefore, if your group of friends, associates, co-workers, affiliates and even family members are negatively perceived, then your reputation will be tarnished in the eyes of others. Is it fair?
Absolutely not! It is reality though.

xoxo,

jolie

FYI: I have some of he best people around me and I’m very blessed and HIGHLY favored.

No Man is worth your tears, but once u find one that is, he will not make you cry.I have found the paradox that if I love untl it hurts, then there is no hurt,only more love..There are many who have been hurt i n life to the point that they believe that they will never be able to love again. This hurt may come from relationships with men who are either family, friends or significant others.

You can’t lead where there is no love.You cannot save where you do not serve. Be the Blessing to the world that you would  want in return…..

“Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.” Luke 6:38

Hope you all have a good week. Today is my Friday because it is HOWARD HOMECOMING and I took the rest of the week off!!!!!!!!!!  I’ll update you all on the fun!

Best,

Jolie

Where oh where do I start..

Well most of you who follow me on Twitter know that I had a date on Saturday night. I had talked to the guy on the phone for a good week and a half. I figured that was enough time plus he asked me out so hell WHY NOT! Anyway, he drove down from Northern Virginia for the date..He picks me up at my door like a proper gentleman. He opens the car door. Ok well wait.. let me tell you about the car.. the first thing that came to my mind was:

The car was I think a CAPRICE, it was CANDY APPLE RED, with 20 inch rims and these little skull thingies for the locks. ( I was already sideyeing) BUT I try to be open minded.  Why judge a man by his car? Right? I think.. ummm yeah I might need to go back to being picky patty.

Anywho, we go and see Law Abiding Citizen first before dinner.

GOOD MOVIE but I jumped, the 6’3 date beside me jumped and the whole audienced jumped at more than once scene. IT had suspense, action, blood, gore..the works. Someone actually had their 3 year old in the movie I was .. well SHOCKED! So after the movie we went to dinner. I ABSOLUTELY hate when men on a first date keep asking you “where do you want to go?” “what do you wanna do?” ughhh. So I decided to keep it local to the movie and my home and go to DuClaw.

Its around 10pm, so we sit down in the booth and we begin to talk. See we talked over the phone prior to the date and quite a bit but there would always be awkward silence on the other end. He said he was just listening that’s why he was so quiet but on this date.. he was SILENT BOB. We sat across from each other with ABSOLUTELY nothing to say. I mean he told me about. I felt like I was probing and then he would respond. When I probed though I found out a couple of things that made me go ummm yeah .. NEXT:

• He’s not that ambitious
• His verb/noun conjugation is lacking
• He told me he was the most successful one out of his friends. (IDK if that’s good or bad)
• He isn’t a conversationalist
• He’s interested in getting to know me better (womp, womp)

I was bored. I mean bored to tears. I’m actually glad we went to the movie first because at least I was able to see a good flick. I know for sure there will not be a second date. When you run to the bathroom and twitter about being bored out of your mind well you must be. I’m the kind of person that can talk to anyone and not struggle for topics but talking to him was like plucking the hairs under my arms with tweezers ..one by one (shout out to Shannon for the analogy). I didn’t finish my meal. I told him I was full and packed it on up. He drove me home. THE END.

Sunday:
Woke up early and went to a conference with Jennypenz. Then we went and bought some new winter boots and I then lunch at Red Rock Canyon Grill. They had THE BEST Tortilla Soup I have ever tasted and the bartender Michelle made me one of the best vodka gimlets I’ve had in a while. We then departed after several drinks and lunch and went to Galaxy Billards to watch the Raiders/Eagles game. Raiders WON! Jennypenz who is a Raiders fan proceeded to yell at everyone there who was an eagles fan “Do you need a tissue?!”, “Why are you leaving there is 1 minute left?,” and told those who dared to approach our table “BEAT IT you LOSER!”

The weekend was a HOOT! This week is HOWARD HOMECOMING!!

I took a year off from Homecoming last year.. I’m excited about what’s to come this year.

What did you all do this weekend?

PS: I swear the date was funnier and poor painful but for some reason it was hard to write about. I either came off like an arsehole or the date didn’t seem as bad as I felt it was on the inside.. IDK .. maybe I need creative writing classes.lol

Til next time,

Jolie.

Hello, America!

You all may or may not have noticed that my presence has been sparatic for the past 6 months. The fact of the matter is that I just don’t have too much to write about lately. I take that back- I have plenty to tell, but just haven’t felt like writing.

The truth is that I’ve been trying hard to get into this blog thing, but I just haven’t gotten attached to it. Jolie and I started this blog a little over a year ago because we realized that we truly do say some funny shit and just wanted to share it with the world. Our stories were SO outrageous that we even decided to mask our identities. It was fun and secret and silly.

But then I started feeling like I had to be funny, or witty, or attitudinal on each blog. And that became a chore. So then I decided to pull the emotional strings of our readers and write things like “I fix” or “FeFe’s Testimony.” And the feedback was great.

Then I wrote about my dating hiatus and the silly stories behind that. And then we unmasked ourselves and that added some excitement. And that’s where it stopped. And I haven’t been able to get into the blog thing since. So I’ve decided that this will be my last blog. FeFe is leaving the building. The blog will remain, but due to “creative differences,” Jolie and I are no longer partners in crime. With that said, here is the recap of my life and my farewell.

Family: I’ve written numerous blogs about my family and how they have shaped my life. I am happy to say that right now, my family life is great and drama free. My father is still recovering from his paralysis and not 100% yet, but the last time I was home, he was able to make it twice around the track and even jogged a little bit! God is Good!

Friends: You make new friends but keep the old. This past year I’ve been blessed to meet 2 people who I am sure I will know for the rest of my life. It’s a great and refreshing feeling. By May, five of my closest friends will have had babies. That’s so major. It totally changes the game. I’ve also lost a friend. It hurt for a little bit, but hey everyone has a season and I’ve never been in the business of begging for friends.

Men: Oh the men! I’ve had one rocky ride with the men this past year. I’ve gone from being sprung over  a long distance relationship in Arkansas, to giving up dating for Lent, to dating again and hating it, to my current situation- booed up again. There is never a dull moment in my dating life, I swear. Right now I am just enjoying the ride.

Job: I have one but I will be making a career change soon. I’ve also started teaching Zumba for some extra bucks.

Life: Life is great right now. I’m learning how to go with the flow more and more. Relinquishing control is hard because I am a control freak, but I am making progress. I’ve been very reflective lately. Just noticing things that people do as individuals and as a whole.

I guess that sums it up. This blog journey has been great, but it’s time for me to bid you all adieu!

God Bless,

FeFe

I miss you guys so I decided to blog today. I am still awaiting the good news and praying for favor.

i know i know .. but I still think they were cute together.. lol

In the meantime life goes on. As you all know by now Jolie is single again (yes, I did just refer to myself in the 3^rd person..sue me). Being single again was my decision and I am okay with it but sometimes you get a little bored and want some male attention.

The other day I was telling my friend Jennypenz how I just wanted someone to cuddle with and kiss the back of my neck. Kiss my back and just hold me tight. I really just wanted someone around. I didn’t consider calling the recent ex because that would just confuse things and I have a belief that when its done its done. So as I am telling her about this I pull up to my best friends house. My best friend is a guy. He needed to borrow my computer so I was dropping it off to him on my way to work. I get off with Jennypenz and tell him the same thing. He says, “aww Jolie it will be alright.” And then he leans in to give me a hug goodbye and KISSES my neck ever so softly. The fuzziness of his beard tickles my neck and the warm of his lips on my skin just gave me the warm and fuzzies inside. I immediately felt better and all the drama of wanting someone to cuddle with went away.

Sometimes your friends have the ability to brighten your day even if they are unaware they are doing it.

Hugs and Warm Kisses,

Jolie

PS: I think I’m going to start writing daily..

I’m praying really hard I know the Lord knows my heart and things should be settled soon and I will have GREAT NEWS to tell you all.

Jolie