Black Femme Fatale

January 29, 2010

Checking-In

Filed under: The No Pain No Gain Diaries, jolie, weight-loss journey — Tags: , , , — Jolie Fatale @ 5:05 pm

Hello EVERYONE!

Thanks for all the comments and the encouragement..

First the bad news.. I havent been in the gym the last 2 days but I have maintained my calories and only been eating 1200 calories a day.

I will be in the GYM tonight because tomorrow I weigh-in. I’ve been debating if I should weigh-in this week or do it every 2 wks but I think I want to see if I lost weight this week to see the effects of the exercise and calorie counting.

I will probably spend a good 3 hours in the gym tonight .. hopefully I will muster up a enough strength to burn over 1,200 cals.

I am proud to say that I did turn down several invites to go out tonight drinking and eating.. I just cant do it to myself.

I’m not shutting down my life entirely but I have a serious problem when it comes to consumption of drinks. I don’t drink at home (although I have plenty of liquor there) but when I’m out with my friends 1 drink turns to 2 which turns to at least 7.

Which can total up to about 1,400 calories.. and most know vodka makes you hungry and boom there you go .. the daily limit of an average human being in calories will be consumed for the day which would probably be well over 2,500 if I ate during the day.. until I can just say one drink and be content with sitting there I have to limit my going out.

Does anyone else have this problem? Or am I the only social alky?

Anyway… have a good weekend. I will be working out allllllllllllllll weekend with a bday party thrown in the mix tomorrow. WISH ME LUCK

Jolie

January 27, 2010

I love him and I fugged it all up..

Filed under: The No Pain No Gain Diaries, jolie, weight-loss journey — Tags: , , , , , , , — Jolie Fatale @ 5:43 pm

FIRST A RANT:

I swear that girl named Karma she is a batch! The ex and I have hung out with him everyday since Saturday. So you might be asking, “why are you sad?” Well it feels kind of weird picking up where we kind of left off with no TITLES.. I’m a title kind of girl.. I’m a serial monogamist…it just doesn’t FEEL right but yet it does. I’m happier when I’m around him, we laugh, we joke its just EASY..

Anyway, enough of my Carl Thomas ..Emotional self.. and back to telling you about my workouts.

__________________________________________

My workouts have been great! I’ve been getting in a good 60 minutes or more in the gym since Friday. I skipped Monday. I’ve been maintaining my calories and drinking all my water.

I’ve been at a calorie deficit the last few days as I only try to eat 1,200 calories a day which doesn’t always happen and I sometimes like yesterday end up at 900 calories and then work off around 700-800 in the gym. I’ve been trying to research around the effects of doing this. I’m not trying to lose any muscle just FAT. So I will see what the results come out to be on Saturday when I weigh-in. The weigh-in is not only for weight but bmi, water retention, fat on my limbs.. really all inclusive. It also tells me how much weight I am in muscle.

Today I ate:

Breakfast: Strawberry, Banana Smoothie: 448 cals

Snack: Apple: 70 cals

Lunch: Spicy Italian Sub 6 inch  ( I didn’t pack my lunch today because I was supposed to have a work meeting) : 550

Dinner: Havent had dinner yet but most likely I will eat the leftover pasta I made which is 329 calories a serving; I have included the recipe below:

Farfalle with Sausage, Cannellini Beans, and Kale

Use a vegetable peeler to shave fresh Parmesan cheese on top of this rustic pasta dish.

Yield: 6 servings (serving size: 1 3/4 cups pasta mixture and 2 teaspoons cheese)

Ingredients

  • 8  ounces  uncooked farfalle (bow tie pasta)
  • 1/4  cup  oil-packed sun-dried tomatoes
  • 1 1/2  cups  chopped onion
  • 8  ounces  hot turkey Italian sausage
  • 6  garlic cloves, minced
  • 1  teaspoon  dried Italian seasoning
  • 1/4  teaspoon  crushed red pepper
  • 1  (14-ounce) can fat-free, less-sodium chicken broth
  • 1  (16-ounce) package fresh kale
  • 1  (15-ounce) can cannellini beans, rinsed and drained
  • 1  ounce  shaved fresh Parmesan cheese (about 1/4 cup)

Preparation

Cook pasta according to package directions, omitting salt and fat. Drain, reserving 1 cup cooking liquid; keep warm.

Drain tomatoes in a small sieve over a bowl, reserving 2 teaspoons oil; slice tomatoes. Heat a large Dutch oven over medium heat. Add sliced tomatoes, reserved 2 teaspoons tomato oil, onion, and sausage to pan; cook 10 minutes or until sausage is browned, stirring to crumble. Add garlic to pan; cook 1 minute. Add seasoning, pepper, and broth to pan. Stir in kale; cover and simmer 5 minutes or until kale is tender. Stir in pasta, reserved 1 cup cooking liquid, and beans.

Nutritional Information

Calories:
329 (25% from fat)
Fat:
9g (sat 2.2g,mono 3g,poly 2.3g)
Protein:
18.7g
Carbohydrate:
45.7g
Fiber:
5g
Cholesterol:
26mg
Iron:
4mg
Sodium:
669mg
Calcium:
204mg

January 25, 2010

And just like that…

Filed under: Dating, The No Pain No Gain Diaries, jolie, prayers, self love, stupidity, weight-loss journey — Tags: , , , — Jolie Fatale @ 3:56 pm

I’m relentless… at achieving my goals. I have been to the gym everyday since the first time I stepped on the elliptical. Everyday that I’ve gone to the gym I’ve set a new goal and achieved it.

My goal yesterday was to go a full 60 minutes going at a speed of 5.0. I am still on level 1 but its only my 2nd week and trying not to burn out.

I am still doing the 1200 calories a day. I switch up and go to 1500 cals every other day just to shock my body a little bit. I drink over 130 ounces of water a day.

I’m well on my way to achieving another my new goal of 20 lbs a month. It took me over a month and a half to lose 16lbs but I was trying to find my focus and my rhythm. I believe I’ve found it.

Emotionally I feel better when I workout actually its giving me the same freedom I sometimes found sitting at the bar having a drink. You know CAREFREE. I’ve been dealing with some things lately.. you know the usual money .. relationships.

I actually started this year talking to my ex from last year. The one I ended things with for a myriad of reasons. Reasons now with a little more clarity were kind of stupid and could have been worked out.  We had a really great relationship. He was a great guy who loved me, cared about me, made me laugh and I found 3 things that bothered me and ran with it. OH and RAN too .. Just broke it off. So we’ve been hanging out. Talking a lot. I asked him on Friday basically if we could get back together. He said and I quote:

“i’m not really sure how to reply, i want to be with you again but I know my life will do a 180 once I have custody of (my daughter). We went thru plenty in the 5+ months we were together, I kinda just want to take it slow this time around. if were in it for the long haul then we can afford it.So to be clear… I do want to be with you again, I just wanna make sure it can last this time”

I guess I understand yet I don’t.. but I guess its not for me to understand. I’m the one who ended it. I’m the one who threw up the walls. Granted he asked to be in my life again as friends in the New Year but I guess I cant expect him to accept me back so quickly. I just don’t have patience. I need him in my life now not later and it just hurts that I had him and then somehow talked myself into letting him go.  I think I do this often ..self sabotage.

I am making a promise to myself not to do that with the weight-loss or in life in general moving forward.

XOXO,

Jolie

January 23, 2010

And the verdict is…

Filed under: the manicane diaries — Jolie Fatale @ 10:19 am

I’m 6lbs down!!!! Wooot. Watching Greys on dvr this Saturday morning and then off to the gym. Thanks for the support,
Jolie
Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®

January 22, 2010

My Weigh-In is tommorrow

Filed under: jolie, weight-loss journey — Tags: , , , , — Jolie Fatale @ 2:25 pm

I’m a little nervous but hopefully I’ve lost something..

fingers crossed,

Jolie

January 21, 2010

I DID IT! I DID IT!

Filed under: jolie, weight-loss journey — Tags: , , , — Jolie Fatale @ 8:33 am

Well ..almost. I set out yesterday to got to the gym and although my car (damn, car!) tried to lead me home. I made it to the gym. I changed my clothes and I made a bee-line to…

CARDIO CINEMA!

What is Cardio Cinema you ask? Well it is a great thing that they have at one of my gym’s Gold’s. Here is the description on their site:

The Cardio Cinema is a feature of the gym that allows members to watch movies on a big screen while using cardio machines.  The Cinema has a DLP projector and surround sound.  Available for use are elliptical trainers, crosstrainers, upright bikes, recumbent bikes and a stepper.  The Cinema plays a different movie everyday and that movie repeats all day long.  All movies are G, PG, or PG-13.

I think Cardio Cinema was invented for me. The person who although I try to keep the most upbeat music in my ipod to workout with I get bored while working out. I think about all the good tv I am missing. I get caught up in what everyone else is doing around me. I am self-conscious because everyone can SEE ME. Well in Cardio Cinema its pitch black just like a theatre. The only lights are the floor lights. I actually use my phone light to program the machine. Its FAB FAB FAB!

Anywho, so I’m in cardio cinema and I warm up on the recumbent bike for 30 minutes and burn around 250 calories. Then the deliema hit…either I jump on the elliptical in cardio cinema or go out to the bright lights and jump on the treadmill. I opted for the elliptical.

Sounds like an easy decision, right? WRONG! Me and the elliptical have never been friends about 3 yrs ago (the last time I got on an elliptical) my clumsy self slipped and embarrassed myself so I never jumped on one again. Yesterday though I figured I was in Cardio Cinema it was dark who was going to see me!? So I jumped on and set the time for 45 minutes.  After 2 minutes I wanted to jump off. It felt hard, weird.. uncomfy.. but I was watching “Land of the Lost” which I had never seen so I just started concentrating on the screen and the movie and before you know it my 45 minutes was over! I only had one revenge (of the nerds) movement when I became dehydrated and went to grab my water.. I almost fell off but somehow regained my footing.

So yesterday was a good day all though I did not achieve the 1k cal burn i wanted:

Date Calorie Goal Calories Consumed Calories Burned Net Calories
January 20th, 2010 1234.39 900 1077 -177

I’ll try to eat more calories today but I ate 6 times yesterday but only consumed 900 calories. I also drank 4 liters of water.

Anyone ever done cardio cinema? Do you find you can workout longer if you are watching tv or a movie?

January 20, 2010

Its just like showering..

Filed under: jolie, weight-loss journey — Tags: , , , — Jolie Fatale @ 12:05 pm

You wake up everyday and do it. You don’t go a day without doing it. That’s my new motto for trying to workout.

You see currently that is my biggest struggle on this little journey. Its not the gym part that I struggle with it’s the GETTING TO THE GYM that I struggle with on a daily basis. I pack my clothes in the car and I have every intention of going right after work. But the things happen you know.. happy hours, invites to friends houses or just my couch. Ya know ..things.Which I know are all excuses.

The sad part is:

  1. I have two gym memberships (bally’s and gold’s)
  2. I own a wii and wii fit
  3. I own several exercise tapes, programs, etc

The problem with the gym is I find it hard to lead my car there. The wii and wii fit I was on a roll for a while I like it but I think I need additional cardio not just the wii. The exercise tapes and programs well does anyone else feel like an idiot or get bored doing that at home in your living room just you and your tv. (RAISES HAND) … I know all excuses.

So how am I going to fix these excuses and get my butt in the gym? Well I’m going to go the gym like I bathe. DAILY. They say it takes a person 10 times doing something consecutively to make it a habit. So for 10 consecutive days starting today I will workout for at least an hour doing something whether it be the gym (preferably), wii fit or some workout tape. I’d like to do at least a 6k calorie burn a week.

I will also use some of the programs I have purchased (which are quite a few and do program reviews for you all so you can either purchase them or not waste your money)

So what motivates you to workout? How do you keep yourself going? What programs have you used?

Thanks for listening,

Jolie

January 19, 2010

New Direction..

Filed under: jolie, weight-loss journey — Tags: — Jolie Fatale @ 10:01 am

This blog will be taking a new direction for a while. I love my blog. I love talking about relationships, issues.. feelings but I never really tackle here one of my biggest challenges. Something that I have battled for years one of the things I can control but cant seem to control which is:

MY WEIGHT

You see when I was young I was small the only time I gained weight was when I was sad which usually involved me going to visit my dad for the summer. I would come back and my mom would say “how did you get 5 shades darker and FAT”. Shortly after my return home I would magically shrink back down to size and everything would be ok. I wrote about the issues I had with my dad that came about 3 yrs ago. What also came about although I had been battling my up and down weight was an extreme.. extreme weight gain. I think in the last 3 yrs I’ve gained at least a consistent 60 pounds. YUP 60lbs.

I’ve talked about it for the last 3 yrs. I’ve attempted to get into the gym, reduce calories, etc and the weight just didn’t move. For the last 3 yrs I can also say that I’ve been battling a bit of depression. Its nothing like finding out a ton of shat about your dad ( read: part 1 and part 2; here) and finding out that you fiancé was cheating on you then subsequently breaking up with him to make you depresso and like I said depresso leads to el fatso. So I’ve attempted for 3 years to forgive and repress. Yah that didn’t work at all. I found myself just suppressing all my feelings. I started dealing with people I wouldn’t normally deal with at all. I started to not clean my house the way I usually would and let things go. I started to drink more (although I don’t drink at home unless I have company) just an all-around spiral downwards. From the outside looking in you would think everything was fine with me. I was even a functional dater. My ex from last year would tell you probably that I was a great girlfriend. You see my daddy issues and my other issues aren’t taken out on others. They are taken out on me.  Oh and I just realized this.. I guess I am a tad bit slow.

Anyway, so before my 28th bday back in December. I started a new program that I wont reveal until later. This program integrates B-12 shots to boost my energy. Depresso people don’t have much energy.

So far I’ve lost 14lbs and counting in a month. I’m starting to integrate more exercise which I didn’t exercise the first month. I drink about 134 ounces of water and eat 1200 calories a day.

This blog will now chronicle my weightless and the feelings, emotions and the ways I go about doing it. I’m sure relationship situations will be sprinkled in the mix because I’m a single girl in D.C. who despite my 60lb weight gain in the last 3 yrs still gets play.

I hope you all join me in reading and commenting on my journey. If not .. I guess its just here for me. I’m living my life now …some may say now I’m being a little self-centered but I’m actually focusing on having a more CENTERED SELF.

XOXO,

Jolie

PS: Here are my kinda before pics. This is me below after losing 14lbs. I’ll keep you updated as I strive to lose 10lbs at month.

Current Lbs lost: -14

Lbs to goal: 46


January 7, 2010

You cant get the job with out an application..

Filed under: jolie, the manicane diaries — Jolie Fatale @ 4:27 pm

So a while back I posted a winter boo job description but I neglected to ever have an application. How can one apply for the job without an application? Maybe thats why I haven’t found a permanent one yet… I’m hoping this will help.

Jolie

WINTER BOO APPLICATION

 

In compliance with applicable laws, this woman typically does not discriminate because of age, sex, race, color, religion, marital status, national origin, veteran status or disability.  But because I am a woman, I can do whatever the hell I wanna do.
Instructions: Please print.  Be sure to answer all questions.  If a question does not apply to you, answer with “no” or “not applicable”.  Do not substitute any bullshit for the information requested.  Please attach  3 references.  Do not use family members, homeboys or cut buddies that you claim you are just friends with.  We would prefer if you use past girlfriends, coworkers, or someone that really does not give a flip about this one way or the other and will not lie for you.
Note: I do offer the opportunity for advancement.  Upon outstanding behavior, you may be promoted to boyfriend, fiancé, or even husband if you are lucky.
PERSONAL INFORMATION
Last name                                   First                                          Middle
Social Security Number
Present Address (please attach a current bill for verification.  Photocopies not accepted)
How long?
City                            State                Zip
Verified?
q Yes             q No
Telephone Number and area code
Home (         )                               Work (          )
Person to notify in case I have to cut you
Name                                 Phone (       )
Position Desired
Hours available
Gainfully employed?
q Yes             q No
If yes, where?
If no, Kick Rocks and your application will be permanently destroyed.
Adequate transportation?
q Yes             q No
If no, Kick Rocks and your application will be permanently destroyed.
Currently holding another position as Winter Boo?
q Yes                    q No
If yes, Kick Rocks and your application will be permanently destroyed.
Have been properly screened for STD’s?
qYes              q No
Dates and what medical facility?  Also, please provide proof.
Ever engaged in any intimate activity with a male that should be strictly between a male and female?
qYes              q No
If yes, Kick Rocks and your application will be permanently destroyed.
Married?
qYes              q No
If yes, Kick Rocks and your application will be permanently destroyed.  Just so you know, your wife will be contacted at the phone number or address you have listed above.  Sorry bastard!!
Baby Mama Drama?
qYes              q No
If yes, please explain
Bad Credit?
qYes              q No
If yes, please explain
Have you ever been convicted
of a felony?
qYes              q No
If yes, please explain (anything other than possession of marijuana or 1 DUI, Kick Rocks and your application will be permanently destroyed.)
Have you ever been terminated from or
asked to resign from a previous Winter Boo position?
qYes              q No
If yes, Please explain
Check anything that applies              q God fearing       q Respectable       q Believes chivalry is dead
q can handle minor housekeeping duties      q phone rings all time of night
q lies uncontrollably  q effective listener  q goal oriented  q handsome q nice dresser
q can pick up the tab without having to file bankruptcy  q don’t have a girlfriend
q good with my hands        q trustworthy    q kind  q loving
q willing to slide a sister some change to help her out if need be
EDUCATION
Education
Name and location
of institution
Grade
Average
Did you
Graduate?
If you graduated, what was your
Degree and major
High school
and/or G.E.D.
qYes    qNo
College
qYes    qNo
College
qYes   q No
Graduate
School
qYes   q No
Other institutions
attended
qYes    qNo
ADDITIONAL INFORMATION
Use this space to list any reasons why you, above all others, should be selected as Winter Boo.
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________
APPLICANT’S STATEMENT
I certify that the information contained in this application is correct and understand that falsification of this information is grounds for dismissal.  I authorize this woman to conduct an investigation of my background for the purpose of confirming the information contained on my application and/or obtaining other information which may be material to my qualifications for Winter Boo.  I authorize any individuals or entities contacted during this investigation to give you any and all pertinent information they may have, personal or otherwise, and release all parties from any and all liabilities, claims or law suits in regard to the information obtained.
I certify that I have read, understand and agree with the above.
__________________________________________________________________________________________
Applicant’s Signature                                                                         Date

January 4, 2010

NO Resolutions for Me..

Filed under: jolie — Jolie Fatale @ 11:15 am

Everyone starts the New Year hoping for it to me better. They make resolutions for things that they may not achieve because really it’s just another day January 1, 2010. You wake up and nothing has really changed unless YOU yourself decide to CHANGE it.

I spent NYE by myself. This was partly by choice. My best friend and I were supposed to go to a party together but he was still back in his hometown due to his father taking ill and going into the hospital. I thought about making alternative plans but I just was NOT in the mood. So I spent NYE on the couch and went to bed around 9:30. Around 12:30am I rolled over said, “happy new year” to myself and continued to sleep. I woke up refreshed and hit the gym and worked on things for myself for the day. I don’t think I heard my own voice until Saturday when I met up with my ex for drinks, dinner and a movie. It was fun. He’s funny. We always had an easy time talking to each other so it was just easy and light.

I woke up on Sunday and it was frigid here in the D.C. area so I hid from the cold most of the day and then ran errands around 4:30pm. I can honestly say I’ve been in a little bit of a funk. The funk I am in stems from just being frustrated with myself.

I’m frustrated with myself because I can give anyone the best advice possible. See where and what they need to do to improve where they are at in their lives but when it comes to myself I see and know what I need to do but take little action to do so. I only take action when I am PUSHED up against the wall. I am a procrastinator by nature. This must change. I general I must change. As much as I am a grown-up on paper:

  • Homeowner
  • 401k
  • Great Job
  • Educated

When it comes to some things I am a child. I hate checking the mail, I hate bills (I’d rather just pay everything online), I’m not confrontational unless pushed…I’d much rather keep it all on the inside. If I don’t have to deal with things I just wont ..its my personality and its definitely my FLAW and DOWNFALL.

 So what’s the purpose of this rant you ask? Well instead of resolutions and hoping the New Year will be better than the last I am going to make a personal effort to MAKE the New Year better and make myself BETTER. I told my friend the other day that I do not believe I have felt JOY in over 4 years.  I cant blame anyone else about this other than myself so I have to take stock in that and do something about it. So I’m posting a quote on my monitor that was on there last year but I think I need to post it in my house, on my fridge, bathroom mirror, car.. shat everywhere so I can remember it:

“Happiness is the consequence of personal effort. You fight for it, strive for it, insist upon it, and sometimes even travel around the world looking for it. You have to participate relentlessly in the manifestations of your own blessings. And once you have achieved a state of happiness, you must never become lax about maintaining it. You must make a mighty effort to keep swimming upward into that happiness forever, to stay afloat on top of it.”

I honestly just want to be happy. Most people around me have no clue that I’m not really happy. I have perfected the art of hiding how I really feel. I smile through everything. If you see me smiling the most it usually means I am rather unhappy. My mom pointed out recently that in every picture I’m smiling but my eyes seem so sad. She has a point and I’m personally going to do something about it.. hook or by crook.

Happy New Year everyone.. It’s a fresh start to reevaluate what you can do to be your best self without unrealistic goals.

Jolie

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