Some of you who read follow me on twitter and you probably read my tweets from Friday night to late Saturday afternoon. You probably read my pleas for someone to save me. Save me from being stuck with this man who we will call Cornflake. We will call him Cornflake because that is what the majority of my friends called him last year when they met him. Apparently at the house party he attended with me in NY (where he lives) a JayZ song came on and he didnt recognize it. THE ROOM of people did not let him live it down. After this weekend I’ve come to the conclusion that he is a dork. Ok, honestly I’ve known he was a dork for the 4 yrs I’ve known him but sometimes for some reason I think people will be different the next time I see them. Well he was different.
He was different in the fact that this time he tried to DO ME! Let me back up. Cornflake and I are friends. We’ve always been friends for the past 4 yrs. We shared a kiss for the first time last year. He kisses like a turtle though (he never really sticks his tongue out just kinda rests it at his lips..YUCK!) Anywho, he hit me up 2 wks ago and asked if he could come visit. His parents live here but everytime he comes down he is so caught up with them I never see him. SO since my plans fell through to go to Houston this past weekend I agreed that he could come down. He arrived around 10:30 on Friday. I had been out drinking with a friend and made it home in time to do a quick cleaning of the house and throw my clothes in my guest room. I stay up until 11pm and then head to bed. I leave him in the living room. He comes to my room to sleep around 1am. We sleep. Well he sleeps. He starts to snore like a BEAR and I leave the room shut the door and sleep on my couch. The bed in my guestroom was full of clothes. I can still hear him snore through the door. ughh! Anyway… (this is getting long). Flashforward to after breakfast. I’m laying on the couch so is he..he keeps turning the channel surfing between and Einstein documentary and a Nirvana concert (did I mention this man is black). I fall asleep. Eventually, I wake up .. he comes close says and asks for a hug.. then he says, “your neck smells good.. you wanna have sex?” I reply, “now that you’ve asked actually, NO!”
UGHHH so awkward. HE then asks for a kiss. I decline and say I havent brushed my teeth. He says he doesnt care. I say I do. HE attempts to lay on top of me. I attempt to push him off. THIS is when I make my great escape. I get up and take a shower. I start gchatting my friends asking for a way out. I shower, come out and say “I have bad news. MY mom just flew in from London and I need to pick her up and she is going to stay here, sorry.” He says ok picks up his stuff and says he is going to go to his parents. I escape and breathe a sigh of relief.
I knew.. probably that this shat would happen in the back of my mind YET I brought all of this on myself. It makes for a good laugh now but at the time I was MISERABLE .. ughh
Have you ever said yes to something and then immediately regretted it?
I bring these things on myself .. i know i know
Jolie
ROFL! This sounds like something I’ve done before. If that kiss was awkward you can only imagine what a moment of real passion would’ve been like. You know he’ll keep calling, right? hee hee
Comment by Melzie — November 9, 2009 @ 9:49 pm
Eww… that part about the tongue just resting on his lips made me gag a little….lol he’s probably still a virgin lol.
Comment by GiGi — November 9, 2009 @ 10:29 pm
LOL! Was he at least cute?
As I was reading your Tweets about it I felt so bad, as if *I* needed to come save you. Its so hard to get rid of a guy who isn’t an asshole, especially cuz I have a soft spot for nerds. But kissing like a turtle is unacceptable.
Comment by Unheeded Prophetess — November 10, 2009 @ 9:39 am
Several mistakes and or mishaps on his part:
1: you were dirnking already- he shoulda kept the party going with drinks
2: Asking for a hug? wtf no comment
3: You never ask for anything- you go for the kill-be a man-hunter by nature
AND LASTLY this mistake was on you-LYING cuz he’ll continue
Comment by Mo — November 10, 2009 @ 9:45 am
“He kisses like a turtle though (he never really sticks his tongue out just kinda rests it at his lips..YUCK!) ”
I CANT STAND IT!!!!!!!!!! LOL..this is hilarious.
Comment by The Comeback Girl — November 10, 2009 @ 9:51 am
LOL at “your neck smells good”- like wtf is it supposed to smell like-sour milk like im a damn baby? ewww on that same note could u imagine smelling somebody and their neck stankin…?! thats some next level shiz
Comment by iloveketa — November 10, 2009 @ 11:24 am
@Unheeded Prophetess: he is cute but he dresses well IDK .. what he had on when I saw him on friday: blue cargo dockers and a button up shirt and these tennis shoes. The next morning he was wearing just in the house this white undershirt with serious pit stains..YUCK
@mo: he doesnt really drink. (sign #1 that I should have run for the hills) and what else was I supposed to do other than lie to get out of it.. tell him the truth? that he kisses like a turtle, his game is wack and he never had a shot?.,.
Comment by Jolie Fatale — November 10, 2009 @ 11:40 am
[...] So after the debacle of my Friday and half of my Saturday dealing with the Cornflake I woke up on Sunday morning and decided I would set-up a call to ensure a Sunday date. (Actually, I talked to this guy on Saturday and we decided to hook up on Sunday but I was basically supposed to call him to confirm since I had cancelled on him 6 times in the last month and hadn’t seen him since 2004.) [...]
Pingback by Can a summer fling of 01 turn into the winter boo of 09? « Black Femme Fatale — November 10, 2009 @ 1:02 pm
Yes, Tell him his game is wack and he never had a shot. You can articulate this in another way if you like, but you need to be honest.
I think if more women were honest with others and themselves, they would avoid unpleasantries and find more happiness.
Bond. BlkBond.
Comment by BlkBond — November 11, 2009 @ 12:29 pm