Black Femme Fatale

February 26, 2009

I never thought being single was bad until ..

Filed under: Dating, YAHH, chivalry, jolie, the manicane diaries — Jolie Fatale @ 10:26 am

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My car broke down…

 Yup old faithful let me down yesterday. I was driving to work about 5 exits from my house on Route 50 when she decided she did not want to accelerate or move forward. Luckily I was near a shoulder and got her to pull over to the side. As I got off the phone with my mother in a hurry I immediately thought WHO AM I GONNA CALL?!

You see I’m not the type that will call up my roster and ask them to come to my rescue. The fact of the matter is no one on my current roster has any obligation to me at all. We aren’t in a relationship, we aren’t sleeping with each other so really the only obligation is friendship but most of the men (which if you look isn’t many anymore) we are just starting to build that foundation of friendship so good think I have RoadSide Assistance.

So after about 40 minutes of explaining to the Customer Service agent who is based outside of this country and did not understand what I was saying about 50-11 times. I am notified that the tow truck guy will be on his way in 90 minutes. Did I mention it was 30 degrees outside?

 So as I sit on one of my hands. I scroll through my phone and call THE EX (he lives near where I live). He has never been mentioned on this blog because honestly there is not much to mention. We were together for 4 yrs, we were going to get married. He told me that all men cheat even though he said he wasn’t cheating (this was after I found a card from a random chick) so I broke it off 2 yrs ago and I’ve been single ever since. He really doesn’t like talking to me because:

  1. I broke it off
  2. I wont sleep with him
  3. I wont see him

But I’ve done so many things for him in the past that he will pick up the phone. He picked up the phone and said that he could be there in 20 minutes. I told him the tow truck guy was coming and there was not a need. I also emailed Southern Comfort and told him about my situation. I knew he’d be a caring virtual-shoulder I could cry on via email while he was at work and well he is a good friend above all else. The rest of the 2.5 hours I was in the truck I gchatted my direct reports what they needed to do for the day and updated my facebook status. Lol.

 

When the tow truck guy came he of course was asking why I was stuck on the side of the road and had no man to help me. I told him “well I’m single and I have roadside assistance” He said, ” well you need a man who will check on your car for you and make sure it gets maintenance so things like this don’t happen” I listened. I shivered. He let me in his tow truck. While sitting in the tow truck as he transported my car to its destination he told me how he usually doesn’t do this but he wanted to look at my car himself and give me an assessment before I took it to the dealer.

When he dropped my car off at my house we tested it. It started . It ran. I decided that I was done for the day and would retire to my house to catch up on some tv. 20 minutes later who calls but Mr. TowTruck he wanted to see if I wanted him to come back and in his words, ‘we could watch a movie at your house and get to know each other”  I declined. I’m single but I’m not desperate and really kicking it in my house and I don’t know you!? Umm no.

 

By the end of the day I felt the love as many people checked up on me to make sure I was ok. The Ex called to grill me on why my car broke down and why I should take better care of it .. WHOMP! and Southern Comfort called well to comfort me and he made me feel better in general.

There are many great things about being single but being stranded on a highway is not one of them. PH WHERE ARE YOU!?

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February 11, 2009

You’re not Alone and You’re Definitely not Lonely

Filed under: jolie, the manicane diaries — Jolie Fatale @ 12:25 pm

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As Valentine’s Day approaches I have heard from more females than not that they are lonely or alone or both. I rebuke this statement!

Ladies and Gentleman:

Just because you do not have a MATE does not mean you are ALONE and definitely does not mean that you are LONELY.

I am sure we all have plenty of friends. Well I know I do. My friends keeping me laughing and thoroughly entertained. If you aren’t as blessed as I am to have a number of different friends and circles. GO OUT and make some! Join organizations, volunteer, take up a new hobby, join an organized sports team. I refuse to throw a pity party for anyone. There are so many ways to get out there and curb that lonely feeling.

Secondly, if you have a belief in a higher power whoever that higher power may be for you. YOU ARE NEVER ALONE.

You are probably thinking.

 ”Easy for you to say Jolie.. we’ve seen your damn roster. Your arse aint neva alone!”

Well I can honestly say that a few months back when I started this whole dating frenzy it was fun but I think that people are dating for a destination. When I say dating for a destination I mean that everyone is putting the other person on trial to see if they meet a certain level of potential. You know the PH factor. (which I still believe in ) BUT I can honestly say I think I was going about it totally wrong. 

I have been in 4 long term relationships in my life and as I examined them this week a theme emerged. What theme you ask? I was friends with them first. Just friends, like homies and that’s what I have been missing. Not saying that the men on the roster don’t have a special place in my heart or friendships weren’t developed but I think that there was a level of intention on both ends. So my intentions (read: wanting a relationship) are thrown out the proverbial window. I have had a talk with a couple of them and said, “look.. I don’t know what I want out of this but I know one thing I do want is your friendship”

So as V-day approaches I say take a hard look at why you are ALONE or LONELY and re-evaluate if you really are. You may come to find that you never were and if you need a friend hit me up on email: blackfemmefatale@gmail.com.

Love you all!

Jolie

February 4, 2009

Unbeweaveable!

Filed under: Men, What I hate, black, jolie, weave, women — Jolie Fatale @ 8:26 am

Hello Readers and Lurkers,

I was talking to Holly and how she recently put her hair at rest and went with a new weave. I asked her how her new beau felt about it (because I know how men hate change when it comes to appearance in their women) and she said, “lol he doesn’t care for weave” .. so I was wondering to my male readers.. Do you care if a woman has a weave? Would you not date a woman because she had a weave? Does hair really matter? to the female readers, “Would you get a weave if you knew your man would hate it?” , “Why do you wear a weave instead of just styling your own hair?

Does this post really matter?! Lol. I’ve never had a weave so I have no clue but all of Hollywood does it ..whether your black, white, Puerto Rican or Haitian. So there must be something to it.. Let me know.

Jolie

 

February 3, 2009

Its a recession..

Filed under: jolie, recession, things to do in dc — Tags: — Jolie Fatale @ 3:05 pm

recession

Thats my new favorite excuse for just about ANYTHING .. but us single folks still have to date .. right?! Right.. But why cant the date be virtually free.. minus a quick bite which can be easily solved with a half smoke at a tin cart located near every free museum. I’m a classy gal but sometimes simple is a-ok.. especially in recessionary  (<–is that a word) times. Additionally gentleman and ladies who plan dates .. its really about the creativity. If you can relate one of these free activites to something meaningful most people swoon. Say like relating some of these events to Black History Month.. the two of you can go to a black history month event and then get some soul food at Oohs and Aahs or Ben’s Chilli Bowl.. I mean they are black owned its related! :)

S o my free guide of things to do in DC this week.. YES I SAID FREE!

Free and Easy Events

Monday
Howard Zinn at Busboys and Poets
Renowned historian Howard Zinn is the author of “The People’s History of the United States,” the groundbreaking work that showed American history as it related to the working class, slaves, Native Americans and the urban poor — those whose views are missing in most history books. At Busboy and Poets, he’ll discuss the historic nature of the election of Barack Obama and what it means for the country.

Tuesday
‘The Scurlock Studio and Black Washington: Picturing the Promise’ at the National Museum of American History
More than 100 images of black America from the 1920s through the 1950s, taken by Addison Scurlock and his sons, who ran a photographic studio on U Street.

Wednesday
Fuzz at Cafe Saint-Ex
Holy guest stars! Geologist of the highly-rated indie group Animal Collective joins DJs DJs Neville C. and Provoke at Fuzz, Saint-Ex’s monthly night of psychedelic rock, freakbeat, folk and ’60s rock.

Thursday
An American Conversation With Henry Louis Gates Jr. at the National Archives
The Harvard professor and founder of The Root discusses geneaology and his book “In Search of Our Roots: How 19 Extraordinary African Americans Reclaimed Their Past.”

Friday
Moneytown at Dahlak
Attention, fans of cult free-form radio station WFMU: Mr. Fine Wine, whose weekly show “Downtown Soulville” has highlighted outstanding American soul and funk records for the past 15 years, is making a special apprarance at Moneytown tonight. He’s no stranger to dance clubs; he’s got a residency at New York’s APT and guest spots all over the globe. DJ Nitekrawler hosts the all-original-vinyl party.

Saturday
Lincoln Family Day at the National Archives
Meet Abe and Mary Todd Lincoln, listen to songs of the Civil War era, deliver the Gettysburg Address and decipher secret telegrams at the Archives’ all-ages celebration of Abraham Lincoln.

Sunday
‘Ballyhoo! Posters as Portraits’ at the National Portrait Gallery
This weekend is your final chance to see this retrospective of the ways in which publicity helps shape celebrity, and vice versa, from John Wilkes Booth to Bob Dylan.

Monday
Gallery Talk: The Shaw Memorial at the National Gallery of Art
As part of the Lincoln Bicentennial, National Gallery staffers lead daily discussions of sculptor Augustus Saint-Gaudens’s “Shaw Memorial,” which honors Colonel Robert Shaw and the 54th Massachusetts Volunteer Infantry Regiment — the African-American regiment immortalized in the film “Glory.”

Happy Trails Folks ..

Rubbing my crystal ball for February..

Filed under: jolie — Jolie Fatale @ 6:02 am

So over at CBG she talked about Susan Miller and her site for horoscopes. I don’t necessarily have a strong belief in them but I DO CHECK THEM! Below you will find a summary of my horoscope and FeFe’s by her request..

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Jolie’s Sagittarius Summary

This month will heavily emphasize your natural ability to communicate clearly to those in your own circle as well as to people you work with and even to the world at large. If you work in broadcasting or publishing, this month will be a superb one to fly high. Make inquiries, for you will find your talents are valued.

If you are self-employed, an advertising or publicity campaign should yield excellent results.

If you have a website, you may want to redesign it now, or if you don’t, you may want to start one. It’s a great time to think about anything digital, for many planets will be stacking up in digital, new age Aquarius.

Aquarius also helps us network, and this month, with such heavy emphasis on getting in touch with others, you would do best to be out and about, either in person, on the phone, by text, or in email.

Travel is also highly likely in February, both near and far, due to the eclipse last month, January 26, or the lunar eclipse due February 9.

The February 9 eclipse will light your house of international relationships and travel, so you may be doing a deal with people abroad. You may be sending information, goods, or services across borders, or are planning the opposite, to import them, or both. Either would be quite possible.

Neptune’s major role in this eclipse suggests that you could pick up the wrong message from someone and later that could prove problematic, so double-check all information you get. Neptune has two sides, however – this planet also has a powerful ability to inspire spiritual feelings.

This is a full moon eclipse, suggesting an ending of sorts – you may come to an agreement, or you may wrap up a long assignment. If you lose an assignment, a new one will come in six months – most likely near August 20 – if not sooner.

A career victory is due this month on or within one day of February 24, thanks to the conjunction of Jupiter and Mercury.

Your income may concern you, as Saturn and Uranus will oppose one another on February 5 and later this year on September 15. This aspect will almost force you to decide how best to make your living. Everyone in this economy has to get to high ground, but the trick will be to center efforts on an area you love, rather than one you do just to make money. If you can’t wait to get to the office in the morning you will do well – energy attracts energy!

Romantically, with Venus in your house of true love now and in months to come (with a kind of slow period in March and most of April), you are set to fall in love if you’re not, and to jump-start a relationship to something more loving and close if you are.

Valentine’s Day could turn out sweet if only because the aspects from February 16 to 18 are so outstanding. You may feel the razzle dazzle a bit earlier. Travel increases love, so if you are attached, you may want to take a day’s drive into the country and book a bed and breakfast. That sounds perfect!

Finally, a home-related situation seems to have concerned you lately. If you need to make changes, the new moon on February 24 will be your best friend, for that new moon will help you. This new moon will be in perfect angle to Pluto, so you seem to be able to garner powerful help from someone influential. Be glad for that!

Dates to note:

Travel, communication, negotiation, contractual talks, research, teaching, sales, writing, editing, and other areas of publishing and broadcasting glow in a month that’ll be all about the exciting exchange of ideas.

On February 9, the lunar eclipse, you may be traveling overseas, or just returning from a key trip.

Publishing, broadcasting, and matters related to academia will glitter and glow. If you are a writer, editor, researcher, publicist, student, teacher, lecturer, radio or TV host, blogger, or are in sales, you will find yourself at the right place at the right time.

Romance will be best February 16 to 18. If Valentine’s Day arrives a few days late, it will still be thrilling – possibly more so on these days.

All romantic dates this month include: February 7-9, 12-13, 16-18, 21, and 27.

Fabulous career news should come to you on February 24, plus or minus one day, thanks to a lovely and rare conjunction of Mercury to Jupiter.

A matter related to home, family, or other property you own (or want) should bring exciting progress in the days that follow the new moon February 24.

Here is the link to FeFe’s  Taurus Summary

February 1, 2009

Jolie’s Roster Update: A Manicane.. me thinks not

Filed under: Dating, Love, celibacy, chopped and screwed, jolie, life, the manicane diaries — Jolie Fatale @ 1:09 pm

just a winter breeze..

In no particular order here is the 08-09 Roster.  As you read down you’ll notice that I’m taking this PH criteria pretty serious and the roster has dewindled. I haven’t really been dating lately just waiting for the right one to find me

 

Most have departed but this is where they started: (the red are dead)

Coach: He is 24 years-old, engineer, pee wee football coach, Nigerian and the youngest boy in his family. We met in 07 at a friends birthday party. I randomly changed my FB profile picture back in Sept 08 and he hit me up and asked me out on a date. Lol

UPDATE: Well.. We’ve gone out a dozen times but it kind of fizzles in and out. I don’t think there is much of a connection. He also isnt looking for a girlfriend or anything serious and has told me he doesn’t know if he’ll ever get married. So in following and doing what I say he isn’t PH material and is now JUST A FRIEND.  RIP COACH.

Mr. Memory Foam: He is 25 years old. From NY, former pilot .. nice guy. I met him and saved him all in one night. I even dedicated a post to him Captain Save..

UPDATE: Mr.Memory Foam wants me to put in all the effort and the only thing he ever has to say is that I never ask to see him. MY philosophy is that yes I should as to see you sometimes but I shouldn’t have to always ASK and you shouldn’t expect me to?! He hits me up in gchat every now and again but I’M SO NOT INTERESTED.  RIP MMF.

The Doctor: I met him in July of 08. He is a psychiatrist, 37 years old, divorced with a grown child. He seems very much marriage minded and would like to have more kids.

UPDATE: The Doc is just not my type. He asks me out and I decline. I’m just not going to go out with someone for the sake of going out. If I’m out with you its because I like you. Otherwise .. I wont! RIP DOC!

Mr. Red Stripe: I dated him back in 2003. He worked were I worked we started dating. But like most Caribbean men that have come my way he was not ready for anything serious and enjoyed playing the field. He talks to my mother on occasions (long story).

UPDATE: Around Thanksgiving he asked me to come to Charlotte with him. I didn’t hear from him the week of and havent heard from him since. HE is one of those people that comes in and out of my life randomly. The next time I’ll decline his reentrance. RIP Mr. Red Stripe and possibly all JAMAICANS..lol

Mr. LightBright: He is a 6′6 yellow brother with lots of swagger. He is a new one who I met at a wine tasting. He works for the govt. We are going out this weekend.. He is 29 years old, killer smile, ex-army.did I MENTION SEXY!

UPDATE: During 2008 he was my focus. I just melt over some Mr. Lightbright he even flew in for my birthday and I threw my celibacy card out the window for him but alas he lives in on the West Coast and I live here. I don’t plan on moving there anytime soon so we’ve basically called it quits. No more him flying back here to see me and me no longer going there. Maybe LDD (long distance dating) doesn’t work?!lol. So I’m back to dating with my LEGS closed until I find someone I really like. RIP Mr Lightbright

Mr Tenderoni: He is the youngest and a new thing for me with much younger men.. He is only 22. Recent Grad. We went to undergrad together and he told me recently that he had a crush on me. I think it’s cute.  He is on the radar.. but pretty far down.. due to his age.

UPDATE: We have great times together when he is here but he lives in PA and I live in MD. He is young and usually not my thing but he is just brilliant and his tattoos are just sexy. The mind is week sometimes. We are strictly friends and will remain that way. I even tell him about my dating adventures. RIP. Tenderoni and welcome to the FRIEND ZONE.

The Chemist (aka: Penny/Peso): We have very similar interests. He is so smart. He is 26 and has 2 younger sisters. He is pretty cute too, with a great great body. Anyway, he recently moved here and doesn’t know much about the area. He is adventurous and I think will keep me on my toes.

UPDATE: Well I’m sure you’ve read the stories about how we met and I thought he was great I mean he was our dates were fantastic. We had great chemistry and we still do. I misunderstanding turned this Penny into a Peso. I eventually talked to him about everything and understood that what I thought I saw drunk wasn’t really what I saw but I think my paranoia ruined it and he basically said that it made him look at my differently. Although he said he wasn’t looking for a relationship somehow I had made him change his mind to the whole incident happened. So we are basically back at square one. Two weeks ago we went to the movies and dinner. It was a good time and there was NO PRESSURE. I don’t know what we are doing. I don’t think we are dating. I think we just get together when we aren’t getting together with anyone else. I wont kill him off.. yet.

The Que from HU:  He is 29, 6′2, nice build. Met him during homecoming in 08 and we hit it off in the club and were inseparable through the night. He is currently in grad school. He is a sweetheart but with a miniature chip on his shoulder. (I likey)

UPDATE: Ok so we’ve gone out a few times. We see each other mainly during the week. I mentioned this and he planned he actually met up with me  2 wks ago on a Friday and we had a great date. Drinks and going to see the sights in the city. We’ve never had the conversation of what he is looking for so I don’t really know what to do with him. I don’t know if he is just chilling or looking at something to be between us in the future. We’ve been dating since October so maybe it’s too early. IDK. I’m keeping him around for now although I don’t think he meets PH criteria.

Fin: His name is FIN .. because I thought we were DONE. Ok so Fin.. he is 29 yrs old. I met him through a friend back in 07. We started off just as friends hanging out and 10 mths later looked back and said, “I guess we’re together?” lol. Anyway, he is smart, funny. He is actually the male version of me! We stopped dating/relating (whatever we called it) after Valentines Day in 08. We didn’t talk throughout the summer but we have now started at least talking again. I think FRIENDS is the best place for us to stay.

UPDATE: Well he recently broke up with the girlfriend that didn’t like me being friends with him due to our history and the fact that she found pics of me on his phone ( I have no clue why he would have them on there months later). We now hang out like two guys hanging with each other. I tell him about my dates. He gives me advice. He makes sexual innuendos and I ignore them. I don’t like backtracking. Once I’m done. I’m done. So I don’t think he will be featured in any future stories other than the advice he gives.

Mr. SWV: 32yrs old with a 12 yr old son. We had a lot in common. HE is shorter than I like, not as cute as I usually like but his personality makes up for it. Beautiful Hazel eyes.Definitely a PH .. I think.

UPDATE: We went on 4 consecutive great dates. He wanted to commit to dating exclusively. I was so smitten I went with it. Shortly after Christmas it all went down hill. He calls, text and emails but I feel like its more of  “feeler messages.” He isn’t cute enough and doesn’t have enough substance for me to continue to be interested. RIP Mr. SWV

Southern Comfort: Knew of him but didn’t know him but we recently started to go out and get to know each other. He is in his 30’s, tall, dark and handsome. A multi-faceted type of guy who is reserved and quiet to start but seems like he may warm up once you get to know him.  

UPDATE: We’ve gone on 2 dates. I can’t get a read on if he likes me or not. If he thinks I’m attractive or remotely interesting. You ever go out with someone and not know how or what they think. I’ve had a great time on the dates but I’m not sure if he is being polite or if he is genuinely into it while he’s there. Its too early too tell but I’m interested to see where this goes. I think we have more in common then we both think.

 

SO as you can see.  I has slooowed the party way down (worksite ComebackGirl).. and doing more sitting  my arse on my own couch:

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You thought you'd see me on my couch ..lol.. well someone had to take the picture..

 

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